debbies

2002-06-15T12:31:00.000-07:00

I have not Blogged in so long I am not sure that I hardly remember how. Life has really been a challenge for me and there is so much to tell I dont know where to start. I have some new wonderful friends that has certainly enriched my life in so many ways. They have taught me that I can be loved even when I am me. For a lot of my life I think I try to be what others wants me to be and I try to be the person that someone can love. So its so refreshing to be able to be my self and know that I am cared for. A person that has really touched my heart soul and mind taught me that honesty and having a friend to confide in is worth more then all the Gold in the world.
My new job is definitely a challenge. Its a wonderful experience and has taught me a lot about my own feelings toward individuals with special needs. I get a lot of reward from just seeing their faces and knowing that I have a small part in making their world safe and good for them.
I have just spend a few days away on my own to rest and to spend some time getting ready for my Orthopedic boards this Fall. The trip was absolutely wonderful. The only bad part about the whole trip is it has to come to an end and there are some things I wish did not have to end. Atleast the end is temporay for now but someday my life will move in a different direction and people that are a part of my life now will move on too. Strange thing is I know that no matter how many years pass or time goes by , there will always be a place in my heart that never will be the same again.
I look forward to the challenges of tomorrow and I know that they will be good cause I know I am loved and I love. Love makes life worth it.

2002-06-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

I have not blogged in ages but I came across this and wanted to share it with others, so here goes.

Some things you keep. Like good teeth. Warm coats. Bald husbands.

They're good for you, reliable and practical and so sublime that to throw them

away would make the garbage man a thief. So you hang on, because something old is

sometimes better than something new, and what you know is often better than a stranger.

These are my thoughts, they make me sound old, old and tame, and dull at a time

when everybody else is risky and racy and flashing all that's new and improved in their lives.

New careers, new thighs, new lips, new cars. The world is dizzy with trade-ins. I could

keep track, but I don't think I want to. I grew up in the fifties with practical parents -- a

mother, God bless her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it --

and still does. A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.

They weren't poor, my parents, they were just satisfied. Their marriage was good, their

dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in

trousers and tee shirt and Mom in a housedress, lawnmower in one's hand, dishtowel in the

other's. It was a time for fixing things -- a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door,

the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things you keep. It was a way of life, and sometimes it

made me crazy. All that re-fixing, reheating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful.

Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant there'd always be more.

But then my father died, and on that clear autumn night, in the chill of the hospital room, I

was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any 'more.' Sometimes what

you care about most gets all used up and goes away, never to return.

So, while you have it, it's best to love it and care for it and fix it when it's broken and heal it

when it's sick. That's true for marriage and old cars and children with bad report cards and

dogs with bad hips and aging parents. You keep them because they're worth it, because

you're worth it.

Some things you keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate you grew up

with, there's just some things that make life important.... people you know are special....and

you KEEP them close!

2001-10-05T03:50:00.000-07:00

Good morning world, Good morning America! I know I havent been here in ages but things have been so busy that I have not had time to gather my thought enough to put them in words. I watched as we all did the terrorist attack on September 11th. That was a really hard day for America, but didnt it make you proud of our country. We have so much to be proud of and it has nothing to do with the buildings or the structures, its the people and our Freedom. We tend to forget about all the things we have and even more Freedom and what it stands for. I hope I never forget how inportant my freedom, friends and family are to me. I watched as the steel and the metal gave in on the towers and I tried to think about the strenght of our own lives and what would cause it to crumble. What holds us up? Is it a inner strenght that we have found over the years that keeps us striving for something. Or is it a love for something, someone that gives us strength. I think each of us reaches in side at times like this and we find strength from places we did not know we even had in us. My hope for everyone that this tradegy has affected is that you find that strenght that keeps you going and helps you to understand your role in this. For some people the strenght is themselves, but for me, the strength comes from my faith in GOD. I have other forms of strenght but the ultimate strength and support is knowing He loves me and has control of the universe. Isnt that amazing.

2001-09-01T19:45:00.000-07:00

Tonight the weather has calmed somewhat but there were storms earlier. Just like in my life, the storms have been raging inside. I have known for some time that It was time for me to move on in my proffesional life but I was waiting until things were right. I have been offered a new job. I think it will be wonderful. I prayed about the job and put my sheep fleece out and it was just as I ask him. He does show us the way. I have been at JMCGH for 10 years and its scarey to leave. I have made some friends over this time, some are really more special then I can explain on here. I just hope they stay my friend and dont forget me since I am leaving. I hope our friendship is stronger then that. Even tho My life is going in a different direction I hope my friends dont and they are still here to support me. I am going to need them, cause I am scared. I need them to push me and say, We knew you could do it, and we are proud of you. Isnt that what friends are for.

2001-08-24T18:19:00.000-07:00

Its football season again and there is a newness in the air for a lot of people.Regardless of the fact that Fall is a time for trees and flowers to start getting ready for the winter, we tend to see this as a new time, a fresh start for us. Some kids are back to school with new crayons, new clothes and new aspirations for this being the best year ever. Some people are starting new lives together, some new lives are just begining, and some people are looking at new changes in their lives. Change can be scarey. Sometimes the old is more comfortable, easy on our stress level and non threatening. But just think what life would be like if we don't ever take those chances. I have been thinking about the chances that I have taken in my life and how things have evolved from those risks. So far I have been lucky. Life has been good to me in that respect.I am sitting here thinking about a major change that I am facing in my life at this time. Will I get the opportunity to make this change? Will this change be good for me? My family? And in this change will I be able to make a difference in others lives? I wish I had a crystal ball to guide me. Then I realize I do have a crystal ball, Its God's Will in my life. So I turn the decision making over to him and ask him to direct me in the way that is best for His Will. God will open and close doors for me. I just hope I am ready and willing to walk through those doors when he does open them.

2001-08-18T04:32:00.000-07:00

Good morning. Its Saturday and I am wide awake. Today will be a big day here with all the Marbury family and friends coming over for a cookout and a send off for Beau to college. Good luck at Valpraso.
This has been a nice and interesting week. I have had some good things happen this week and some not so good. But then again thats life. I wish I could put all my feelings and thougths here on this page but if I did, who ever read this would have me committed. HA. I am taking some time away from my job this next week. I have got to have some "Debbie" time. I use to feel selfish when I did that but now I have come to really enjoy my time alone. I quess pampering yourself comes with age. And I am old enough to desirve lots of pampering.

2001-08-12T21:15:00.000-07:00

We have had storms raging in our area this weekend. Some were quite powerful at times with thunder and lightning. We are told that the storms form when a low and high front come together and the atmosphere is right. The force of these storms are awsome. These storms remind me of the storms that we have in our lives. They are also produced due to the lows and highs in our lives and the never ending struggle with right and wrong. We all have a nature that makes us fight with doing right and the desires to do wrong. We have wants and desires that we dont always understand but are a daily struggle. The strength of the storm in our lives depends on the strength of those needs. Some times when the storms are raging in our lives they make us act in a way that we normally would not have. I dont know why but I think its the inner struggle and turmoil that we feel at that time. Kind of like the wind caused by nature's storms It can be damaging. Lately I have been reminded that we dont need to blame others for our storms but realize that they can be a port to help us through the storms. Sometimes we have to sit and reflect on the things that cause the turmoil and then let the calmness bring a peace over us. I am sitting here letting the calmness bring peace to my storms.

2001-08-02T02:46:00.000-07:00

Well. Its 4:30 am and I have been awake since 3:00. I am sure there are people up getting ready for their jobs or people on the other side of the world having lunch, but the main question is why can't I sleep? I have a lot of things I can blog about but they will probably bore you too tears. But oh heck, why not bore you anyway. I have made a major change in my life. I have departed from FLO. Flo was something that I could rely on the last 12 years. She was small but sassy, durable but sleek. She never complained when I kept her up late or got her up early. She did hate the cold mornings tho. It was time to retire her and let her have some rest. Her joints were old and she required alot of TLC the last year that we were together. Oh well, she has gone through many of years with me and has secrets that I am sure she will never reveal. Now that I have got your curosity up I will tell you. "Flo" was my florence blue, 1989 honda that I bought brand new in 89. SHe has been a wonderful car. Now I own a Saturn L series car. I havent named her yet but that is coming I am sure. Well I have bored you all enough so I will stop blogging now and see who is one line at 4:37 am, maybe there is another poor soul that cant sleep like me.

2001-07-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

I've dreamed many dreams
that never came true.
I've seen them vanish at dawn.
But I've realized
enough of my dreams,
Thank God,
To make me want to dream on.

I've prayed many prayers,
when no answers came,
Though I waited
patient and long,
But answers came
to enough of my prayers
To make me keep praying on.

I've trusted many
a friend that failed .
And left me to weep alone,
But I've found enough
of my friends true blue,
To make me keep trusting on.

2001-07-15T21:12:00.000-07:00

Here I am again with some thoughts that keep nagging at me so I thought it was time to Blog. I have been thinking about Friends. What are Friends? Are they the people we work with? The people we see everyday? Or are they a unique group of people that we can honestly say that they have touched our lives in a way that makes things different for us from that point on.But what makes them our friend opposed to just an a acquaintance? I am not sure what makes the difference in some peoples lives but I can tell you what a friend means to me. Friends can be male or female. Black or white. People that see life the same way we do or actually see life totally different then us. A friend is some one who you love unconditionally. Unconditional love means you know all about that person but yet your love for them withstands everything. You may not agree with the direction their life is in, or you may become disappointed in them at times but you never stop caring for that person. Friendship is forever. I have had someone special come into my life and its strange how I have grown to care for this person. When they have struggles, I struggle. When they are sad I am sad. and when they are excited about something good in their life I am there too. Its amazing how you can feel their love, their fears, and their needs just like they were your own. But at the same time you know that you have to stand away and let them live their life. They have to go through all the struggles but at least I can be there to help them along as they need me. There are times I have to walk away and let them work through things and that's hard but at least they know I am always here. Its amazing how God gave us friends. Not acquaintances but Friends.

2001-07-08T16:53:00.000-07:00

As I open todays posting I realize that I have crossed a major milestone in my life. My Youngest daughter has just wed the "Love of her life". Its amazing to watch your daughter walk down the aisle and then you start to remember the moments in their lives. Her first smile, her first words, her first steps. The first day of school when they start kindergarten, Her first "back hand spring" in gymnastics, her first 3 pt shot in basketball, and her first date. Oh my, how has she grown into a beautiful princess. Now My hope and prayer for her is that she does do like the Fairy Princess and live happily ever after. It would be wonderful if we could protect our children from the hard "knocks" that we know are ahead for them. Its called Life as an adult. We all have experienced it in some forms. Some of us have survived the knocks of life well and some are still struggling, but there is a guarantee in life. they will continue. The person we become is a result of how equipped we are to handle the "knocks" of life. I hope I have equipped my girls well.

2001-07-07T20:50:00.000-07:00

It's Up To You
I am at this certain point of my life, When I realize who I am,and what I bring to this earth.At times, I look back upon the life I've led and sometimes feel the pain,the sadness that I once lived.I realize how much I've grown. How much I've experienced. How much I've learned. If I could change anything I don't think I'd change a thing. Today, we create the memories of our lives that we will look back on. I want to look back with smiles not with tears. I want to feel good about my accomplishments on the earth It feels good it feels right. To be helpful to the strangers that I meet, It feels good to feel the earth beneath my feet, It feels good to feel the warm sun on my face, It feels good to be a part of the human race. Nothing in life is perfect of that we are all sure, But it's getting to realize that and understand it that will open the door and behind that door there may be unexpected happiness that will set you free. The choice is up to you. To live your life by no one else standards This is your life It's up to you

2001-07-06T21:28:00.000-07:00

UNFOLDING THE ROSEBUD
It's only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
with these clumsy hands of mine...

The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
God opens this flower so sweetly
When in my hands they fade and die...

If I cannot unfold a rosebud
This flower of God's design
Then how can I think I have wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?

So I'll trust him for his leading
Each moment of every day
I will look to him for his guidance
Each step of the pilgram way

The pathway that lies before me
Only my heavenly father knows
I'll trust him to unfold the moments
Just as he unfolds the rose...

2001-07-06T21:25:00.000-07:00

Yellow Rose is a nick I use often. It represents two things. Yellow is a symbol of Hope and goodness that we sometimes overlook in our daily lives. The color yellow brightens our world through many ways. The second symbol is the rose. Roses are a constant reminder that in our own hands they are fragile and usually harmed but when we let God control our lives then the rose bud becomes a thing of beauty and purpose.

2001-07-03T20:16:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here realizing that its time for me to start blogging!! UGh! I am not sure that I will be that good at opening up and sharing my feelings but at the same time I think It will be fun to see the interactions that result from this page. Well I have taken the first step and now as I ponder do I want to take baby steps into the cyber world and allow others to know some of my feelings, fears and dreams.